By Munera Lawyers
Whether amicable, difficult, or high-conflict, divorce and separation can be a highly stressful and confusing time. Navigating this experience can be easier if you are informed about the process before it begins. This article addresses some important things to consider for those who may be heading towards divorce.
1. The importance of financial disclosure
Full and frank financial disclosure is critical in the practice of family law. Especially if you are self-employed, the complex and onerous requirements of financial disclosure can not be understated. Requests that might feel intrusive can actually be important to fulfill. Be ready to provide information like bank statements, credit card bills, tax returns, and historical information that might be difficult to find like the value of that old Chevy you had in 1986. The longer your marriage, the harder it might be. But, getting it right the first time can make the process much easier.
Failure to provide financial disclosure can lead to wasted costs for both parties, and also runs the risk of the Court imputing an income that is actually higher than what you actually earn. This may result in a support order that is unsustainable, and can have very serious consequences.
2. Letting go of that ‘WIN OR LOSE’ attitude
The complicated emotions that often come alongside divorce can encourage a ‘win or lose’ attitude against your ex as you navigate these significant life changes. It is important to realize that, although it might sometimes feel this way, divorce is not a zero-sum game.
Instead of trying to win against your ex, it is best to think about how to win in your own life, and what winning looks like for you. Perhaps it’s a fresh start, a new routine, and a quick resolution. Some of these definitions of ‘winning’ may allow you and you ex to find common ground. Instead of focusing on smaller issues, it’s important to consider the big picture.
Shedding a win or lose attitude may open up more opportunities for alternatives to resolve your dispute outside of Court, such as mediation. Mediation is a popular family law alternative dispute mechanism whereby a neutral third party, specifically trained to assist separating couples, facilitates negotiations with a goal of coming to mutual agreements. As mediation requires consent, it is not appropriate in all cases. For example, in circumstances involving family violence or significant financial inequality, mediation is often not recommended.
3. Moving from the Matrimonial Home
Leaving your home can be one of the most unexpectedly emotional parts of divorce. For many, the matrimonial home represents the most significant family asset. Because of this, the matrimonial home has a special treatment in family law as its value usually must be shared, even if it is owned by one of the parties exclusively. As well, there can be more than one matrimonial home depending on the frequency and use of a given property. It is very important to know the difference as to how your family home, or homes, will be treated pursuant to a separation or a divorce.
4. Effective Co-Parenting
Divorcing or separating with children requires further consideration and cooperation in order to meet their needs and foster their best interests from two households instead of one. Learning how to talk to your children about these changes in order to make it as smooth as possible for them is a top priority for many parents.
In most cases, it is important to consider the maximum contact principle and being as amicable as possible. Remember, you have a future with this person even though you are no longer together. Divorce can significantly impact your children, and cooperation can make all the difference.
Cooperation and communication is also important with other significant people in your child’s life. Teachers, coaches, and family friends are all people who you should be able to get in touch with. Making sure that you are up to date with your child’s schedule and activities will have significant benefits for both you and your child.
5. Asking for Help
Whether it is a lawyer, therapist, realtor, or financial advisor, it is important to rely on professionals when there are questions that you might not have the answer to yourself.
When working with professionals, trust should be your top priority. Make sure that you are working with people who understand you, your goals, and your bottom-line. They will help you achieve the best possible result as you work towards your new new normal. This relationship of trust is best when it goes both ways. When working with a professional to help you through this intimate process, it is important to be honest and forthcoming about your circumstances so that they can effectively advocate for you.
NOTE: This article has been written for general information purposes only and does NOT constitute legal advice. For further questions and/or legal advice please consult a qualified lawyer.